How do we drop our inner negativity? Luckily, we do not need to work hard and say hundreds of positive affirmations each day. It is much easier than that. What I always recommend is a so-called 'thought diet'. Just like we should not eat too much junkfood we should simply stop saying anything horrible to ourselves. No more, 'I am so ugly!', 'I can't do it!' or 'I am so stupid!'. All we have to 'do' is to notice when a negative thought 'knocks on your inner door' and then we simply do not open the door. We refuse to think those self-destructive thoughts. Instead we envelop ourselves with a loving feeling just like a mother would hug her beloved child. We stay with the feeling of self-love until the negative thought has gone away. This is the best self-help for confidence that I have come across.
'But how can I love myself if I have all these negative qualities?', someone may ask. 'I am still too fat, ugly and stupid....(or whatever else people may accuse themselves of). The answer can be found in remembering how a loving mother would relate to her child. Would she stop loving her daughter if she has some problems in school or if she is not the prettiest Pull Your Ex Back girl in her class? Surely not. She would love her daughter all the more - particularly, if she would get teased by others because of her weaknesses. In the same way, we love ourselves with all our weaknesses and shortcomings. We do not need to be perfect to receive this love. There is nothing in us - no weakness, no ugliness, no badness that can not be embraced by our own unconditional love. We have to give ourselves this love every single time we have a tendency to be overly critical towards ourselves. Within a few days or maybe some weeks we will have freed ourselves from this negative habit and feel SO much better. And obviously, if we are happier, we will be more confident and others will notice this and respond towards us more positively. It is as simple as that!
Will this simple self-help for confidence work? All I can say is that I have worked in this way with every single client for many years - and every single client has achieved dramatically improved self-esteem within a matter of weeks.
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